Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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