i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
