I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
