Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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