Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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