We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There are leaves in my underwear?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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