you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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