I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
