I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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