I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
