I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
