If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
