U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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