remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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