apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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