Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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