I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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