don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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