The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
