At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
