I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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