Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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