i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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