my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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