idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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