he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
