I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
