You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
