Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
