she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
