8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
