We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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