what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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