in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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