What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
