i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
