We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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