Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
