then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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