I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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