if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there was a trapeze. enough said
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
