I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Randomize
