winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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