I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
