Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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