I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
