Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
