She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
