its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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