alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
