Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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