dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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